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Not feeling joyful? Look for the coffee mugs, not the airplanes.

Updated: Jan 2, 2022

So what can you do if you're just not feeling particularly joyful?

As I mentioned before, I started #MMOJ after a painful period in my life. In December of last year, I discovered that my marriage, which I would have previously described as "good, with problems just like everyone else" was, in fact, not good at all. My (now ex) husband was profoundly unhappy and had taken steps to address his own happiness without me. In short order, I needed to figure out how to separate our lives, as it quickly became clear that sticking around was absolutely not an option.

There were practical concerns -- I needed a cheaper car and a new place to live -- and huge emotional ones too. I read a quote around that time that said, "adulthood is looking both ways before crossing the street, and then getting hit by an airplane," and it perfectly captured how I felt.

I was sad and angry -- and yes, those emotions were justified and needed to be felt. But even in my worst moments, I knew I couldn't stay in that space forever. For the sake of my two boys and for my own sanity, I needed to chart my own path. In the moment, however, creating a "happy life" seemed big and impossible. But finding one minute of joy felt manageable. I started small -- my first minute of joy came when a friend bought me a coffee mug that I had wanted but had passed up in the name of saving money. The mug and the gift made me smile, and I still drink coffee from it every day. Over time, I found more minutes of joy, some of which were much bigger and more impressive. But before I could get to that, I had to start small.

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