New Traditions

My boys both have Spring birthdays. Last year, my ex and I separated in January and I moved out in March. To give our two kiddos some sense of normalcy, we agreed to celebrate their birthday with the four of us together, and that's what we did.

This year, when the birthdays came around again, I wasn't quite sure how we would handle them. It didn't feel right to do a celebration with just the four of us, especially since my ex is now engaged to someone else and I'm in a relationship as well. But it felt weird to keep things totally separate for the boys too.

My younger son's birthday celebration was last weekend. In the end, we held separate small family celebrations (one with my parents and one with his) and a friend party that we both attended.

I'll be honest -- the friend party was weird at moments and a little uncomfortable at others. But...it was definitely okay. Above average, even. Having friends and my boyfriend there helped make it that way. And most importantly, my son had fun. And after two years of COVID-cancelled birthdays and divorce insanity, it was really good to see him smile. It's a blueprint that I think could work for our blended-family future, too.

I think I may always be a little melancholy on my boys' birthdays. After all, their births created the family that divorce tore apart. But time marches on, and new minutes of joy are created every day, for all of us.